oh god please help me im suffering alone,
many things i have to settle, haisss
what else should i do to ake everyone happy and to make myself out of this matter..
keep praying non-stop just to save everyting ..please please god ~ im drowning from all the nightmares and reality . how can i survive for this 2010 on my own . i love all of my surround i dont want to lose everything i have now.. im happy , im happy if everthing is fine.. settling down ~ knowing each other for further safe..
i mean they should atleast not take further action but to know our boyfriend well. i know its happen to you both thats why you wont want tus to drop in your shoe. i know you been suffering the past but this changed. you cant undo anything i know we cant hug and kiss its "muhrin" but it will not happen when your suronding adult do that infront of the small one. think before you led a difficult situation , i know its fr our own good..
it will be good if you guys know we are having an affair so you wont have difficulty knowing where we go by not telling lies. i spent alot of my time with family more then i have a boyfriend , seriously. im sorry if i ever cause and trouble. we are grown people , people change and you cant changed us because only ourself know when we wanna changed. what im thinking now ?

im thinking to have a better family,
to let my family know i have a boyfriend and i know wheres the limit .
i know the limit and i know i can control myself i myself know how harsh i could be towards guy.
i dont sell my body just because of a guy. i dont go ask any guy to f*** me .
i know, i wont because if i ever do sex now i would already pregnant .
think think, it wont happen .
i know i cant say this because i still a kid , but im a youth i understand whats going own .
i would rather have a boyfriend then enjoying ,
because enjoying can lead to bad things , drinking and smoking ..
but im not . i want to have a better life.
not to lie, i lie to you because you wouldnt allow us to do / go anywhere that we go ..

i wont lead to sex because everytime when i met a guy i would read my prayers and say to myself
i wont wanna do a stupid stuff..

my boyfriend do tooo.. he pray that he will never do anything bad to his own girlfriend.
only a hug and a kiss on cheek not more..because we know we are not married yett.
we know the limitttt...

only god know how muchhh we both pray hardd...
not to let each other sell of our own bodyyy....
haisssss....



wishing everything is fiine and wellll..
i love my family and everything i have now....

Labels: what happpen?

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" why do some woman believe in guys?"
" they are just too IN humans."

The biggest problem in our dating world are jealous and possessive men. While they are desperate to find a woman they can love and adore, once they have found her possessive men most often do not believe they can keep hold of her due to a lack of self-confidence, self-respect and self-belief. They don't truly believe they deserve the girl so they try and subjugate her to rely on them and increase the woman's sense of dependency. It is all too common these days as more and more men feel uneasy about who they truly are and lack self-esteem.

The first hurdle a woman faces is in not being able to spot a jealous and possessive man in advance. He is charming and good-looking, he has the world at his feet so it appears and you have absolutely no reason to think he isn't prince charming. And maybe he is Mr. nice-guy at this stage. But if you know then what you later discover things would be much easier.

I first spotted possessive-man-syndrome whilst working for a few years in a regular job in an English city. At the end of day I would walk home to my apartment and was always impressed as to how many boyfriends sat patiently in their cars waiting to pick up their girlfriends and wives from work. I dare say in retrospect a few were genuine but it took me some months of seeing the same faces before I cottoned on to the fact that these guys were not there for the best of reasons. The cat was let out of the bag by a woman friend who said that she could never go for a drink after work because her boyfriend didn't like it and always insisted he picked her up from work at 5pm on the dot. If she needed to go anywhere she had to let him know in advance.

This shocking revelation may be will known to many women readers but for a guy I hadn't realized at that time quite how large the problem was. The key issue it appears is a man's low self-esteem. Usually the possessive and jealous guy believes his lady will be stolen away from him. He doesn't trust her or her words of love and ignores the fact that she stays with him. He feels she is plotting to escape at any turn, looking for a way out and doesn't really love him at all. Why? Simply because he feels he doesn't deserve her and deep down believes she could do far better than him.

This causes the possessive man a dilemma. If she would really like to run away then how can I make her stay. Easy, what I will do is make her dependent on me, make her need me and want me and have no need to be anywhere but with me. Even if I go out every night with my male buddies. The man doesn't love himself so he doesn't understand why she loves him either. But he needs to feel she does, so he needs to have demonstrations as to how far she will go for him. He will promote the positive attitude of staying at home together and group social activities will be extinguished. At home you are where he can see you.

As a relationship develops the possessive man will find ways of ensuring you are there for him. He will create fictitious scenarios where he needs your help and assistance which affect your social routine. Rather than meeting friends you will be assisting him. Of course at first this is all part of romantic relationship building. After all you want to spend as much time as possible with the man you love. Bit by bit he will divorce you for your everyday friends and activities, even spending time illustrating how your friends are not really your true friends. He is isolating you for his own needs.

The feeling are worst then a billion of humans, i cant seems to put myself in it anymore, i cant tolerate this feeling , sucky irritated and nonsense. i just cant feel thiss...
When a line is drawn, it signifies boundaries. At times I wish I could just disappear, run away from it all. Most of the times I put on a front showing people that I don't really care about my surroundings, perhaps that way it is easy to move on with the day without worrying about the whole truth. Then reality sets in, I cared too much. That was the brutal truth.

At times, I'm done trying simply because my efforts are never appreciated. All the times I tried to at least be there for anyone, it will always come and bite me back in the rear. Even after all that, I get blamed for everything. Where was everyone when I was in need? Everyone suddenly and silently went away without a word. Even the most important people in my life are starting to slowly pull away, trying hard enough not to hurt me; but what they do not know is - they are already did. Nobody knows how its killing me inside.

I won't say that no one understands me, because I'm sure at least someone does. Words are easy to say but turning it into actions are always a struggle. I'm struggling now. Promise is a big word, my promises are empty now. I'm slowly losing grip. I'm not making sense anymore. & they say keeping mum in a moment of anger, saves a thousand days of sorrow.